The Passionate Flames of Cooking, dattebayo!
by Wolfy-Seraphim
Summary: [Oneshot] AU and Tenten is older. This is an amusing story i wrote at 2 in the morning. i really have put Tenten through so much lol. Beware the Green Sparkly Things. Slight SasuNaru. Hope the rating is right. Enjoy!


Disclaimer: Me poor. Me no own. No sue me.

Okie dokie, I have extended Tenten's age to about 20 and there is only a slight yaoi reference – not enough to get me into trouble i hope lol. I got this idea when I was peeling some veggies for dinner one night and I suddenly had an image of Gai in a green apron and chef hat. It kind of went from there. Its pretty much just a short little piece to amuse myself with. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it.

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Tenten stood waiting in the Home Economics room as the class bell rang. The school year had just started and she pitied the new batch of young souls that was to endue this torment. As the teacher's assistant she had come in early to ensure the room was properly equipped and that Gai-sensei had not stuck up anymore 'inspirational' posters again. His cooking show was immensely popular, presumably for the fact that he cooked gorgeous dishes, not his personality or charisma. She sighed heavily, wondering for the hundredth time why she was talked into taking this job, then pasted on a smile as the students entered, talking and laughing. When they had settled themselves around the cooking stations, she introduced herself, "Hi I'm Tenten and welcome to Food Prep classes. I'm the assistant chef here. Your teacher is Gai-sensei and will be along any minu-" A loud slam interrupted her, "Tenten-chan your dedication is amazing as always! I have something for you that will bring you closer to the Passionate Flames of Cooking!" a loud voice boomed happily, a corner of the room suddenly becoming blinding sparkly, "Its vibrant green color will enhance the harmony and passion so you may cook with the same vigor as myself!!" Tenten decided then and there that the green apron draped over Gai-sensei's arm was the most hideous thing she had ever seen and attempted to divert the teeth-gleaming smile to the stunned students in an act of self-preservation, "Gai-sensei this is the new class for the year. I have the name list if you want it." "AH! My bright young pupils! Welcome to this wonderful year where you may express your passions in the form of foods! I hope you all will share in moving onward with Fire! You there, my boy, you have a question to ask!" As the boy stood, Tenten had a sinking feeling. She almost let out a shriek when he looked up in absolute adoration at Gai-sensei, wondering when science had gotten so good at cloning people all the way down to the clothes. Yes, this year was going to be Hell on earth. "Gai-sensei I wish to follow you in The Way of Passionate Cooking! You are my inspiration!! Please teach me well!" the boy exclaimed, eyes shining and eyebrows, or were they caterpillars, wiggling. Tears of joy were pouring down the teacher's face and a sunset stretched behind him, which seemed to alarm the other students considering it was only the morning, "My dear pupil, what is your name? Your enthusiasm makes me rejoice!" "Rock Lee, sensei." "Lee! You are an example to the class! The very-" At this point Tenten decided that it really was time to move on because she was starting to get a headache, "Gai-sensei I think it would be a good idea if we got everyone to pair up now so we can begin cooking,' then turning to the class, 'Please organize yourself into pairs. Pick well because the person you are with will be your partner for the year. We will be starting cooking today so I hope you all have brought your aprons. For today's lesson we are doing something quick and very simple – pancakes. Pick your partners now." The next noisy quarter-hour ended with a large argument at one station between two girls, one with blonde hair and the other with pink hair. "You cant be Sasuke-kun's partner stupid Ino-pig because I am!" "That billboard-brow covering your eyes Sakura-forehead? I am Sasuke-kun's partner!" "All right girls that's enough. Which of you boys is Sasuke?" Tenten interrupted, looking down at a bored blunette and a cheerful blonde. "I am, and neither of them are my partner. I've already got the Dobe," the brooding boy smirked, nodding his head at the blonde boy sitting beside him. "Whaa?! Teme! But I want to be partners with Sakura-chan! How come I don't get a say in this?" the blonde whined. "Because what I want I get, my little Naru-chan" Sasuke said predatorily, staring at him with heated eyes. The blonde, who Tenten guessed was Naruto, blushed, looked at his lap and quietly but huffily replied "Teme, don't call me Naru-chan." Leaving the boys to exchange their meaningful glances, Tenten ordered the silently fuming girls to partner with each other then moved to the back of the room while Gai-sensei ranted and demonstrated how to cook pancakes. Thankfully there were no problems so Tenten was able to sit peacefully…as much as Gai-sensei's exclamations and Lee's equally loud replies allowed, until a noise was heard over the sizzling batter that sounded like a cross between a yelp and a groan. "I'm sorry sensei but Sasuke just AH! spanked me with the spatula," a tomato-red Naruto said, standing next to a wildly grinning Sasuke. A rather interesting image popped into Tenten's mind involving Sasuke, Naruto, a kitchen bench and a spatula causing her to almost have a nosebleed but she quickly suppressed it, only to hear Gai-sensei say to her, "Tenten-chan is this not wonderful! The Passionate Flames of Cooking have stirred their youthful hearts! May their love and passion burn brighter than the fire on my stove! Move onward my pupils! Let the Flames of Passion consume you as they have consumed me for my cooking!" Tenten face-palmed and sighed as Gai-sensei sparkled again. Lee came bounding over to the boys and declared his encouragement and happiness for them to continue to fan the Passionate Flames of Cooking. Looking out the window where there were no loud, excessively green, sparkly monster-things to hurt her eyes, Tenten decided she definitely needed to find a less dramatic job.

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I just couldn't resist! I swear I didn't mean to put so much yaoi stuff in it but…my Yami took over its not my fault! **(Yami grins contentedly) hehe! **But anyway hope it at least brought a smile to your face. If the ending is crappy, just keep in mind this was done at 2 in the morning and I have work in a couple of hours so I might sleep now X0 ! Rate so I am happy and my Yami wont hunt you down (evil grin) bye! 


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